Beginning...again !

I have been MIA...well actually M-and not doing any-A...from the gym for months.

Excuses ? Late rehearsals, tiredness, travel, some unpleasant upheavals in my theatre group and disillusionment with certain friends, etc. etc.

Real reason ? Lethargy.

So, since August I have been feeling low physically and I knew that the only answer was to resume the gym. But each night I found a new excuse to sleep late, thus helping me to wake up late so that I could avoid the gym for one more day.

At the beginning of September I resolved to begin the gym regularly from the 'next' Monday...and that Monday never came. On the one hand I was getting increasingly frustrated that I wasn't resuming the gym and on the other I just couldn't get myself to mentally get into that mode of going to the gym.

One day I spoke to a very close friend that I needed support to go to the gym. We spoke and determined the exact problem is getting up and getting out of the house. Once I'm out of the house, I'm really perky and upbeat...I work out religiously in the gym...but all that IF I could get up and get out of the house. He said he'll help me work it out....but then I thought, 'WTF ?'...I am a grown-up and I shouldn't have to ask somebody else to figure out my schedules etc. Also, I must start believing in what I tell my theatre students...internal motivation works the best and lasts the longest.

Still for a week after that I couldn't go to the gym. Then on Saturday the 24th, the said friend was coming to my place with another friend. TH, these two friends and I are working on a theatre project. In preparation of their visit, I cleaned up the entire house like a maniac in three hours flat...and believe me, it is a big accomplishment, considering the amount of work that needed to be done. Afterwards it felt so good ! Everything was in its place, everything was looking clean and good. I was feeling exhilarated ! Then we worked on our project and that lifted my spirits even more :)

So, taking advantage of the situation I planned to go to the gym from Monday. I said it aloud to the friend and TH so that I couldn't back out of it...they'd be pestering me to go. In fact I even planned Sunday in such a way that some work would get done and yet I'd have some time to relax...that would facilitate turning in early and getting up in time for gym on Monday.

But, come Sunday evening, I started feeling depressed about going to the gym the next morning. I thought about it a lot and it started to spoil my Sunday evening. Then I spoke to the TH. I told him that I was very ashamed of going to the gym the next day because my instructor and the main lady at the gym would definitely say something about my absence and I'd have no answer ! He gently convinced me that I would have to face this problem only once...he even said there's also a possibility that they may not say anything...and he told me to tell them that I was travelling and had a lot of work and thus having late nights and so I missed gym for all these months. He agreed to accompany me to the gym next morning for support. I was somewhat assured but not completely.

Then I decided to something proactively about it. I got all my gym stuff together and put in in my room on a table so that it would be all there early in the morning and would also be there as a reminder when I went to sleep :) Also I slept at 11:00 p.m. sharp on Sunday since I had to wake up at 5:20 a.m. on Monday for the gym.

Finally yesterday, i.e. Monday 26th September, I woke up on time, without any coaxing from TH, got ready quitely and quickly and left. I didn't even ask TH to accompany me. As I reached there early, I saw just 2 other unknown people. I calmly began exercising. Later the main lady came and as she saw me, she called me and asked, "Where have you been?" and I gave her the answer that TH had coached me to give. She said "OK" and I went back to exercising. I completed my entire exercise routine but didn't exert myself beyond what was prescribed. Gradually I will push the limits. It felt very good to exercise.

I was speaking to TH and he said that my target of losing 18 kilos wasn't correct for my height....I would become underweight. I should aim to lose 15 kilos and that would be healthy. My gym membership expires on 19th March 2011. So I have just over 5 months to achieve my target weight.

So, while returning from gym I did some quick mental calculations...to break down my super-objective into smaller, manageable bits. If I have to lose 15 kilos in 5 months, I have to lose 3 kilos per month. Assuming a month of 4 weeks, that means I should lose 750 gms per week. In a week I exercise for 6 days. That puts the daily target at 125 gms. So, I reckon my starting weight the next day should be 125 gms less than the starting weight of the previous day.

So, this morning I went in apprehensive about my starting weight and to my relief, it was less by 110 gms than yesterday's starting weight. Not bad for to start off with, I said to myself. As I increase the exercise, this number will improve too. After exercising today, I noticed that the difference between the starting and ending weight of today was larger than that of yesterday. Today I had increased the cardio a little bit.

In all this, there has also been a thought given to two important things - food and sleep. As for food, I'm not going on a strict diet...yet. But yes, I am not eating sweets and fried stuff. I am exercising portion control...to stop and think if I'm eating because I'm hungry or because I like that particular dish...and eat only when hungry. Yesterday evening I ate something that's not very healthy...but I was hungry and had nothing else with me...so I ate just a little to sustain me till I reached home and had dinner. So I'm not being a monster about diet.

The most important change that I am making is that of eating the last meal of the day before 8:00 p.m. Now about sleep. 11:00 p.m. is my deadline....but each day I should try to sleep as much before that as possible. This worked on Sunday and yesterday.

Oh, one more thing...yesterday, all day I was feeling feverish due to a throat infection...and quite ill by the end of the day...but I took some medicines, which haven't cured me completely, and I went to the gym, on time, today too.

I'm going to lose those 15 kilos by 19th March 2011 by exercising regularly...come what may !

This post is quite long since there was a whole lot to be shared...and I think it will help people in my situation...who want to lose weight but cannot gather the will and keep failing at it again and again.

Tomorrow onwards of course the posts will be a little more concise.

So, here's to an enjoyable (re-resumed) journey to the land of the fit :)