The roller-coaster :)

There is a high to report today :) Today's starting weight was a whopping 340 gms less than yesterday's starting weight ! I'm sure it is because I ate just salad for dinner last night :)

It has been a trying week ! I have been struggling with my health. Ironical isn't it, considering that I started going to the gym for exactly that reason - my health ! Last night I was feeling so frustrated...here I am...determined to exercise regulary and lose weight, but right in the first week of resuming exercise, I am being thrown too many challenges at the same time :(

I was so ill last evening...I was pretty sure that I was coming down with fever and would have to miss gym today. I didn't feel like eating anything. But since I had to take medicines, I had to eat. So I chopped up one cucumber, one tomato (from my garden..ahem !) and a few lettuce leaves. Just tossed them together, without any seasoning. It was one bowl full. Don't worry, that was sufficient...I'm not starving myself :)

I slept at 10:30 p.m. last night. This morning, I woke up feeling better. I went to the gym and got a pleasant surprise with the starting weight. But the difference betweek the starting and ending weight was 10 gms less than yesterday. Seriously, I don't get this pattern...or lack of it...at all !

After I returned from gym, I progressively started feeling worse and feverish. I plodden on...got ready for office...and then suddenly decided to sleep a bit...and I did...for an hour. When I woke up, I was feeling terrible...I didn't feel like getting out of bed. But I did. Came to office. Felt horrible all morning...took a tablet for fever since my temperature was definitely above 99°.

As I went for lunch, I was shivering...and mentally feeling very low. So I succumbed and had half a bowl of warm shevai kheer. Now I'll have to compensate by having salad tonight and exercising a bit more tomorrow !

While returning from lunch, I was suddenly very sweaty due to the fever tablet and now I'm feeling a little better, although the nasty cold and cough are still there. I think I'll leave office early today..around 5:00 p.m. There's one more day of gym to go through in this week. Luckily tomorrow and Sunday are the weekly offs.

Today and yesterday in the gym my instructor N sidled up to me and very softly asked, "You're going to be regular from now onwards, na ?" I replied, "Yes of course" both times to which today she said, "See, lets wait for a month and then lets take the measurements, OK ?" I just smiled, realising the veiled hint :)

You know, I've noticed that in the gym everybody casts quick, surreptitious glances at each other's exercycle / treadmill / cross-trainer dashboard...and if they're doing better than you, then there's this slight sense of competition..."iski level / speed meri level / speed se jyada kaise ?" :)))

I'm beginning to enjoy being in the gym...today was a good day in the gym at least...lets see tomorrow if I can make up the weekly target of 750 gms...I'm already down by 670 gms...if 80 gms more can be achieved tomorrow, I'm sorted for the week :)

Rejoiced too soon ?

This daily weight (and gym) monitoring business is a bit of a bother. No sooner than you rejoice for your achievement on one day do you fall flat on your face for the lack thereof on the next.

I was so happy yesterday about having lost more than my daily targeted weight...and today, the difference between my previous day's starting weight and today's starting weight was a measly 50 gms ! This, despite not having eaten sweets or fried stuff, having had dinner at 8:30 p.m. and having slept at 11:00 p.m. on the dot ! I just don't get it ! Sigh !

Oh wait...its probably because of the water retention since its 'those' days of the month ;)

Luckily I didn't let it demotivate me...in fact, the irritation helped me increase my exercise level again by a bit today. So, the difference in today's starting and ending weight is a decent 300 gms.

Apparently my resolve is being tested by the powers that be right in the first week of resuming exercise. The very first day of exercise I developed a throat infection which still continues. Then yesterday it was 'that'. Today it was raining heavily at 5:30 a.m. !

But, I'm still hanging on...getting up and going to the gym and exercising religiously despite everything...in hope of the reward that this effort will fetch me ! :)

Better results tomorrow, I hope...

Tomorrow, I'll also share interesting stuff that I observe at the gym each day.

Au revoir ! :)

Energetic morning today :)

Yesterday I was feeling very feverish and so I left office early, reached home around 3:30 p.m. and slept for 4 hours straight ! When I woke up I was feeling very fresh and my illness had all but vanished :)

So I pottered around the house a bit, ate a bit (2 slices of wheat bread with 1 slice of cheese) and had a cup of warm coffee around 8:00 p.m. I had a discussion with TH and I told him my calculation of the daily target and lamented that on the first day itself I had a net loss of 110 gms instead of the targeted 125 gms. So he pointed out that initially it will be difficult. Then as my body gets into that mode and also as I increase my exercise levels, I will achieve the target. Also, he said that its an average...the net weight that I lose each day will vary. Ah well ! I think, when you start off, you are desperately looking for any little thing that will motivate you to keep at it, do better. So I was hoping that I'd have good results right from the start. But what he says makes sense...so hanging in there :)

Since I had slept so much, I wasn't feeling very sleepy at 11:00 p.m. but I forced myself to sleep and the last I remember having seen the time was at 11:20 p.m. I had no trouble waking up this morning and when I woke up I was already feeling quite energetic, despite a throat infection and a slight cough.

I reached gym early today...but he chap who opens it up came late. So eventually I could begin only at 5:55 a.m.

My starting weight today was 160 gms less than my starting weight yesterday....which means that I achieved the daily target of 125 gms :) Yay for me !

Today I upped the exercise level a bit but did not feel tired. Yesterday morning I had body-ache, but not this morning.

Today when I was doing the shoulder press (yes, yes, I now know all the names ! Yay for me again), my instructor finally came around and asked about my absence. Today I was feeling a lot more upbeat. So I calmly told her. Then she asked me if my weight increased in the meantime. It hadn't, thankfully, and I told her so.

I'm happy about the way I exercised today...I increased my difficulty levels a bit and yet managed to complete all exercises without feeling unduly tired. I remember the sequence of my exercises and scarcely look at my card. There's one more thing about myself that I'm feeling happy about. I can now operate all the gym equipment without guidance. Considering that I had such a phobia about it, I'm definitely taking this as a big improvement :) 

Au revoir !

Beginning...again !

I have been MIA...well actually M-and not doing any-A...from the gym for months.

Excuses ? Late rehearsals, tiredness, travel, some unpleasant upheavals in my theatre group and disillusionment with certain friends, etc. etc.

Real reason ? Lethargy.

So, since August I have been feeling low physically and I knew that the only answer was to resume the gym. But each night I found a new excuse to sleep late, thus helping me to wake up late so that I could avoid the gym for one more day.

At the beginning of September I resolved to begin the gym regularly from the 'next' Monday...and that Monday never came. On the one hand I was getting increasingly frustrated that I wasn't resuming the gym and on the other I just couldn't get myself to mentally get into that mode of going to the gym.

One day I spoke to a very close friend that I needed support to go to the gym. We spoke and determined the exact problem is getting up and getting out of the house. Once I'm out of the house, I'm really perky and upbeat...I work out religiously in the gym...but all that IF I could get up and get out of the house. He said he'll help me work it out....but then I thought, 'WTF ?'...I am a grown-up and I shouldn't have to ask somebody else to figure out my schedules etc. Also, I must start believing in what I tell my theatre students...internal motivation works the best and lasts the longest.

Still for a week after that I couldn't go to the gym. Then on Saturday the 24th, the said friend was coming to my place with another friend. TH, these two friends and I are working on a theatre project. In preparation of their visit, I cleaned up the entire house like a maniac in three hours flat...and believe me, it is a big accomplishment, considering the amount of work that needed to be done. Afterwards it felt so good ! Everything was in its place, everything was looking clean and good. I was feeling exhilarated ! Then we worked on our project and that lifted my spirits even more :)

So, taking advantage of the situation I planned to go to the gym from Monday. I said it aloud to the friend and TH so that I couldn't back out of it...they'd be pestering me to go. In fact I even planned Sunday in such a way that some work would get done and yet I'd have some time to relax...that would facilitate turning in early and getting up in time for gym on Monday.

But, come Sunday evening, I started feeling depressed about going to the gym the next morning. I thought about it a lot and it started to spoil my Sunday evening. Then I spoke to the TH. I told him that I was very ashamed of going to the gym the next day because my instructor and the main lady at the gym would definitely say something about my absence and I'd have no answer ! He gently convinced me that I would have to face this problem only once...he even said there's also a possibility that they may not say anything...and he told me to tell them that I was travelling and had a lot of work and thus having late nights and so I missed gym for all these months. He agreed to accompany me to the gym next morning for support. I was somewhat assured but not completely.

Then I decided to something proactively about it. I got all my gym stuff together and put in in my room on a table so that it would be all there early in the morning and would also be there as a reminder when I went to sleep :) Also I slept at 11:00 p.m. sharp on Sunday since I had to wake up at 5:20 a.m. on Monday for the gym.

Finally yesterday, i.e. Monday 26th September, I woke up on time, without any coaxing from TH, got ready quitely and quickly and left. I didn't even ask TH to accompany me. As I reached there early, I saw just 2 other unknown people. I calmly began exercising. Later the main lady came and as she saw me, she called me and asked, "Where have you been?" and I gave her the answer that TH had coached me to give. She said "OK" and I went back to exercising. I completed my entire exercise routine but didn't exert myself beyond what was prescribed. Gradually I will push the limits. It felt very good to exercise.

I was speaking to TH and he said that my target of losing 18 kilos wasn't correct for my height....I would become underweight. I should aim to lose 15 kilos and that would be healthy. My gym membership expires on 19th March 2011. So I have just over 5 months to achieve my target weight.

So, while returning from gym I did some quick mental calculations...to break down my super-objective into smaller, manageable bits. If I have to lose 15 kilos in 5 months, I have to lose 3 kilos per month. Assuming a month of 4 weeks, that means I should lose 750 gms per week. In a week I exercise for 6 days. That puts the daily target at 125 gms. So, I reckon my starting weight the next day should be 125 gms less than the starting weight of the previous day.

So, this morning I went in apprehensive about my starting weight and to my relief, it was less by 110 gms than yesterday's starting weight. Not bad for to start off with, I said to myself. As I increase the exercise, this number will improve too. After exercising today, I noticed that the difference between the starting and ending weight of today was larger than that of yesterday. Today I had increased the cardio a little bit.

In all this, there has also been a thought given to two important things - food and sleep. As for food, I'm not going on a strict diet...yet. But yes, I am not eating sweets and fried stuff. I am exercising portion control...to stop and think if I'm eating because I'm hungry or because I like that particular dish...and eat only when hungry. Yesterday evening I ate something that's not very healthy...but I was hungry and had nothing else with me...so I ate just a little to sustain me till I reached home and had dinner. So I'm not being a monster about diet.

The most important change that I am making is that of eating the last meal of the day before 8:00 p.m. Now about sleep. 11:00 p.m. is my deadline....but each day I should try to sleep as much before that as possible. This worked on Sunday and yesterday.

Oh, one more thing...yesterday, all day I was feeling feverish due to a throat infection...and quite ill by the end of the day...but I took some medicines, which haven't cured me completely, and I went to the gym, on time, today too.

I'm going to lose those 15 kilos by 19th March 2011 by exercising regularly...come what may !

This post is quite long since there was a whole lot to be shared...and I think it will help people in my situation...who want to lose weight but cannot gather the will and keep failing at it again and again.

Tomorrow onwards of course the posts will be a little more concise.

So, here's to an enjoyable (re-resumed) journey to the land of the fit :)

At this age !

I am so irritated today ! The dietician at the gym and another friend who, I discovered, belongs to the same gym, both said this phrase to me… “At this age…” and applied some concessions. I don’t like it at all.

The dietician was telling me that if I follow the diet plan diligently, I will reduce weight. So I said that my most comfortable weight was when I was 15 to 18 kilos lighter. Also, as per the height-weight chart, I am 15 kilos heavier. But the dietician said that ‘at this age’ it was OK to even lose 10 kilos and it was better not to lose more and not to push myself for more than 10 kilos.

Later, while I was exercising a friend came and tapped me. It turned out that she too is a member but we usually come at different timings. We met today since I went later than usual. So, she said, “I can’t do a diet. I get too tempted to eat.” I said that I need to lose weight for my health and I have good mind-control. So I’ll do the diet (That, in my case, essentially entails sticking to meal times and not eating fried stuff – my two vices.) So, she replied, well its OK even if you don’t do it. ‘At this age’ keeping fit is enough. We can’t expect to do more.

I was so riled ! 

Firstly, here I am, completely determined to become slim and fit and here are two people in the gym, one a dietician, who are condoning cutting myself some slack. 

Secondly, although I understand the dietician’s concern that I will push myself beyond limits and harm my body, I also think that low aim is crime. I am very driven when I set my mind to something, but I am also sensible enough to understand when to stop so that I will not harm myself. 

Thirdly, and most importantly, it is infuriating when people use age as an excuse. Just today in the papers I read about this 73 year old man who exercises daily and can do 12 suryanamaskar non-stop. If he can do it at 73, why can’t I do it at 39 ? Yes, I am 39…that is my chronological age. But inside, I feel different ages at different times. Speaking of my body, granted that I am overweight, but I am very active and more importantly I have that drive in me and I don’t want to take any concessions. 

So, I don’t care about age. I am going to be slim and fit and achieve my ideal body weight. Period. 

P. S. Rant over and done with, here’s a small update:

1. I missed gym on my birthday and the day after. Not because of those reasons though. I had to reach office obscenely early on both days and returned way past the gym closing time. I missed gym yesterday too as I had a catch in my back and neck. Today the catch in the back is gone and the one in the neck has reduced. So I went.

2. I am actually enjoying the gym. Gradually I am going to do the whole-body work-out on alternate days and swim on alternate days.

3. I have kept this gym thing a secret from everybody except TH. I’ll tell only if anybody asks when (if?) they see results.

4. It has been 17 days (14, if I deduct the 3 missed days) but the weight refuses to budge more than 300-400 grams either way. To be fair, I haven’t been controlling what I eat and when. The new diet plan begins day-after. I hope that it will make my weight move…downward.

Day four and still at it…

I didn’t get the exercise related body ache as bad as I’d imagined I would ! Each day I dread the next since I think that if my body didn’t have an ache that bad today then tomorrow is going to be terrible. Yet, nothing happened for four days. So I guess I’m good now :)

Yesterday N and I had a small talk. She told me that she’ll be going away on vacation to her hometown Candy in Sri Lanka for twenty days in April. She’ll make a workout card for me and I should follow that when she’s not around. I told her that I’d like to swim on alternate days. So she agreed. She said that I should do a whole body workout in the gym on alternate days and swim on alternate days. Presently for the next ten days though we have decided that we’ll alternate between upper and lower body workouts. 

Yesterday as soon as I reached home from the gym, I demonstrated all the lower body exercises to TH. He laughed…said my demonstrations and descriptions were funny :)

Today morning we did the upper body workout. Today N had made my workout card. It is much better to know the sequence. There’s just a slight problem – understanding the vocabulary and knowing how to operate the machines without breaking something :) Sigh ! Eventually…

Yesterday N had told me to check my weight. I didn’t. “What difference will three days make ?”, I thought. Today she asked me if I had. I told her why I hadn’t. She said that I should. At the optimum exercise level, there could be a difference of up to 400 grams before and after the workout. So after I finished the workout, I checked my weight. I have reduced 230 grams in four days. I wonder if that is good or not. I felt a bit disappointed. Probably this was also the reason why I didn’t want to check my weight this early. I wanted to check it after a long time and be pleasantly surprised with a weight loss of a couple of kilograms. Sigh again ! Eventually…

Today while I was on the treadmill, N came up and said, “Just be regular and you’ll be back to normal fast”. Before that, while doing warm-ups, she asked me, “Is it aching a lot ?”. I replied, “It is aching, but not much.” Then she said, “Don’t worry. It will reduce now and go away. But if there is a gap of 4-5 days, then it will again ache.”. When I left the gym, she called out after me, “Come tomorrow”. Thrice in an hour there was reference to consistency. I’m taking it as a signal and I’ll be doubly alert so that I don’t fail on that.

N is a really good trainer…warm, encouraging and appreciative. At least that is what works with me. With me, a little motivation and kindness goes a long way. I am willing to push myself a lot when the other person shows even a tiny bit of consideration for me.

I too am a good (determined?) student. For example even when she asks me to do ten iterations of something and I feel that I could do more, I tell her that let’s do some more.

It might seem that I am speaking too early. After all it has only been four days. But honestly, I’ve seen my previous patterns and I am observing myself this time. It is starkly different this time. Today, I got up at 5:45 a.m. without TH having to coax me to. I will become fit and achieve my ideal weight this time.

And I went again today…to the gym…

Usually I can stay up till 1:00 a.m. Last night my energy was down to zero by 11:00 p.m. Maybe for the first couple of day of gym, I should sleep at 10:00 p.m. Hmm.

I had decided that today I would reach the gym by 6:00 a.m. so that there will be very few people. But when I woke up (thanks to the alarm), I could feel each and every muscle in my body protesting :) So I hit snooze twice and that equals half an hour. The third time the alarm went off, I finally got up but very reluctantly, I might add. Once I got up, I quickly got ready and left.

Today we worked on the upper body. It pains me to see how little strength I possess in my arms :( N, the instructor, took me through today’s run, but also made it clear that I have to remember both the upper and lower body exercise sequence. She’ll not be guiding me beyond a week. Now that is something I dread. Previously whenever I have joined a gym, I have never managed to remember the sequence. I am simply incapable of remembering which exercise, on which equipment, in what sequence. It is pathetic :( Today when she said that, I suddenly became super alert and tried to memorise everything I did. I gave myself visual clues. When I came home, I demonstrated it all to TH. Well not all…most of it…since I have forgotten some :( Heaven help me !

So, I’m going to record here too, all that I did…or at least as much as I can remember. Warning: I am totally clueless about the gym and exercise lingo. So I’m going to make up names for the exercises and wrote their descriptions as I will recollect them best. If you find it funny, so be it !

Started with warm-ups – marching accompanied by wrists circular, neck left-right, neck up-down, arms in and out upwards and downwards, arms up and down, ankles circular, arms folded and legs like Russian dance – to the sky, then cross, then left-right outward. 10 iterations each.

Then dumbbells –

The biceps curl = 1 in each hand with hands locked at waist in front of the body and dumbbells waist to shoulder

The triceps = 1 dumbbell held by both hands behind the head and then up and down

No name = 1 dumbbell in each hand - start with dumbbell at ears and raise to the sky

Stretch my sides = 1 dumbbell in each hand. Lean on one side and then on the other sideways.

All these exercises were done standing. 10 iterations each.

Then I did the exercycle for 10 minutes.

Then the machines -

Rod to stomach = Sit, lock legs in the bars, pull the rod in front towards stomach

Rod to collar bone = The same machine flipped over to raise the seat higher. Lie back at an angle, lock legs in the bars, pull the rod over the head towards the collar bone.

I think I did one more variation of the same concept, but for the death of me I can’t recall it.

10 iterations each.

Then the treadmill for 10 minutes.

Finally the floor exercises –

Crunches, one leg over another and cross crunches, straight leg raises, side leg raises, lie on the stomach extend hands and legs and lift them in the air, lie on the stomach with hands near chest and lift upper body to the sky, lie on the stomach and hold ankles and lift in the air and rock the body. 10 iterations each except for the last three for which 3 iterations each.

Finally the shavasan…my favourite :)

N asked me about the dietician consultation today and I postponed it to tomorrow. I must take a decision tonight.

Today’s observations:

I didn’t feel as energetic as yesterday. I drank the usual amount of water, not more like yesterday.

Almost all the ladies coming to the gym check their weight daily. They are all very confident and move about comfortably using the equipment.

I feel most confident on the exercycle, treadmill and while doing the warm ups and the floor exercises.

My body didn’t ache as much as I expected it to this morning or even during the day. That makes me worried about tomorrow. It’s got to give sometime, I say !

Although I had decided while joining the gym that I would do the gym and swimming on alternate days, today I have decided that for two weeks I shall do the gym. Then I shall ask N to build in the swimming part into my workout. The pool is beckoning and it is also very safe since I am most comfortable swimming. But it would mean that again I’ll run away from learning the gym routine. I am happy that I am able to make myself stay and fight my fear.

Now, tomorrow’s target – to reach the gym at 6:00 a.m. with a decision about the dietician consultation.