At this age !

I am so irritated today ! The dietician at the gym and another friend who, I discovered, belongs to the same gym, both said this phrase to me… “At this age…” and applied some concessions. I don’t like it at all.

The dietician was telling me that if I follow the diet plan diligently, I will reduce weight. So I said that my most comfortable weight was when I was 15 to 18 kilos lighter. Also, as per the height-weight chart, I am 15 kilos heavier. But the dietician said that ‘at this age’ it was OK to even lose 10 kilos and it was better not to lose more and not to push myself for more than 10 kilos.

Later, while I was exercising a friend came and tapped me. It turned out that she too is a member but we usually come at different timings. We met today since I went later than usual. So, she said, “I can’t do a diet. I get too tempted to eat.” I said that I need to lose weight for my health and I have good mind-control. So I’ll do the diet (That, in my case, essentially entails sticking to meal times and not eating fried stuff – my two vices.) So, she replied, well its OK even if you don’t do it. ‘At this age’ keeping fit is enough. We can’t expect to do more.

I was so riled ! 

Firstly, here I am, completely determined to become slim and fit and here are two people in the gym, one a dietician, who are condoning cutting myself some slack. 

Secondly, although I understand the dietician’s concern that I will push myself beyond limits and harm my body, I also think that low aim is crime. I am very driven when I set my mind to something, but I am also sensible enough to understand when to stop so that I will not harm myself. 

Thirdly, and most importantly, it is infuriating when people use age as an excuse. Just today in the papers I read about this 73 year old man who exercises daily and can do 12 suryanamaskar non-stop. If he can do it at 73, why can’t I do it at 39 ? Yes, I am 39…that is my chronological age. But inside, I feel different ages at different times. Speaking of my body, granted that I am overweight, but I am very active and more importantly I have that drive in me and I don’t want to take any concessions. 

So, I don’t care about age. I am going to be slim and fit and achieve my ideal body weight. Period. 

P. S. Rant over and done with, here’s a small update:

1. I missed gym on my birthday and the day after. Not because of those reasons though. I had to reach office obscenely early on both days and returned way past the gym closing time. I missed gym yesterday too as I had a catch in my back and neck. Today the catch in the back is gone and the one in the neck has reduced. So I went.

2. I am actually enjoying the gym. Gradually I am going to do the whole-body work-out on alternate days and swim on alternate days.

3. I have kept this gym thing a secret from everybody except TH. I’ll tell only if anybody asks when (if?) they see results.

4. It has been 17 days (14, if I deduct the 3 missed days) but the weight refuses to budge more than 300-400 grams either way. To be fair, I haven’t been controlling what I eat and when. The new diet plan begins day-after. I hope that it will make my weight move…downward.

Day four and still at it…

I didn’t get the exercise related body ache as bad as I’d imagined I would ! Each day I dread the next since I think that if my body didn’t have an ache that bad today then tomorrow is going to be terrible. Yet, nothing happened for four days. So I guess I’m good now :)

Yesterday N and I had a small talk. She told me that she’ll be going away on vacation to her hometown Candy in Sri Lanka for twenty days in April. She’ll make a workout card for me and I should follow that when she’s not around. I told her that I’d like to swim on alternate days. So she agreed. She said that I should do a whole body workout in the gym on alternate days and swim on alternate days. Presently for the next ten days though we have decided that we’ll alternate between upper and lower body workouts. 

Yesterday as soon as I reached home from the gym, I demonstrated all the lower body exercises to TH. He laughed…said my demonstrations and descriptions were funny :)

Today morning we did the upper body workout. Today N had made my workout card. It is much better to know the sequence. There’s just a slight problem – understanding the vocabulary and knowing how to operate the machines without breaking something :) Sigh ! Eventually…

Yesterday N had told me to check my weight. I didn’t. “What difference will three days make ?”, I thought. Today she asked me if I had. I told her why I hadn’t. She said that I should. At the optimum exercise level, there could be a difference of up to 400 grams before and after the workout. So after I finished the workout, I checked my weight. I have reduced 230 grams in four days. I wonder if that is good or not. I felt a bit disappointed. Probably this was also the reason why I didn’t want to check my weight this early. I wanted to check it after a long time and be pleasantly surprised with a weight loss of a couple of kilograms. Sigh again ! Eventually…

Today while I was on the treadmill, N came up and said, “Just be regular and you’ll be back to normal fast”. Before that, while doing warm-ups, she asked me, “Is it aching a lot ?”. I replied, “It is aching, but not much.” Then she said, “Don’t worry. It will reduce now and go away. But if there is a gap of 4-5 days, then it will again ache.”. When I left the gym, she called out after me, “Come tomorrow”. Thrice in an hour there was reference to consistency. I’m taking it as a signal and I’ll be doubly alert so that I don’t fail on that.

N is a really good trainer…warm, encouraging and appreciative. At least that is what works with me. With me, a little motivation and kindness goes a long way. I am willing to push myself a lot when the other person shows even a tiny bit of consideration for me.

I too am a good (determined?) student. For example even when she asks me to do ten iterations of something and I feel that I could do more, I tell her that let’s do some more.

It might seem that I am speaking too early. After all it has only been four days. But honestly, I’ve seen my previous patterns and I am observing myself this time. It is starkly different this time. Today, I got up at 5:45 a.m. without TH having to coax me to. I will become fit and achieve my ideal weight this time.

And I went again today…to the gym…

Usually I can stay up till 1:00 a.m. Last night my energy was down to zero by 11:00 p.m. Maybe for the first couple of day of gym, I should sleep at 10:00 p.m. Hmm.

I had decided that today I would reach the gym by 6:00 a.m. so that there will be very few people. But when I woke up (thanks to the alarm), I could feel each and every muscle in my body protesting :) So I hit snooze twice and that equals half an hour. The third time the alarm went off, I finally got up but very reluctantly, I might add. Once I got up, I quickly got ready and left.

Today we worked on the upper body. It pains me to see how little strength I possess in my arms :( N, the instructor, took me through today’s run, but also made it clear that I have to remember both the upper and lower body exercise sequence. She’ll not be guiding me beyond a week. Now that is something I dread. Previously whenever I have joined a gym, I have never managed to remember the sequence. I am simply incapable of remembering which exercise, on which equipment, in what sequence. It is pathetic :( Today when she said that, I suddenly became super alert and tried to memorise everything I did. I gave myself visual clues. When I came home, I demonstrated it all to TH. Well not all…most of it…since I have forgotten some :( Heaven help me !

So, I’m going to record here too, all that I did…or at least as much as I can remember. Warning: I am totally clueless about the gym and exercise lingo. So I’m going to make up names for the exercises and wrote their descriptions as I will recollect them best. If you find it funny, so be it !

Started with warm-ups – marching accompanied by wrists circular, neck left-right, neck up-down, arms in and out upwards and downwards, arms up and down, ankles circular, arms folded and legs like Russian dance – to the sky, then cross, then left-right outward. 10 iterations each.

Then dumbbells –

The biceps curl = 1 in each hand with hands locked at waist in front of the body and dumbbells waist to shoulder

The triceps = 1 dumbbell held by both hands behind the head and then up and down

No name = 1 dumbbell in each hand - start with dumbbell at ears and raise to the sky

Stretch my sides = 1 dumbbell in each hand. Lean on one side and then on the other sideways.

All these exercises were done standing. 10 iterations each.

Then I did the exercycle for 10 minutes.

Then the machines -

Rod to stomach = Sit, lock legs in the bars, pull the rod in front towards stomach

Rod to collar bone = The same machine flipped over to raise the seat higher. Lie back at an angle, lock legs in the bars, pull the rod over the head towards the collar bone.

I think I did one more variation of the same concept, but for the death of me I can’t recall it.

10 iterations each.

Then the treadmill for 10 minutes.

Finally the floor exercises –

Crunches, one leg over another and cross crunches, straight leg raises, side leg raises, lie on the stomach extend hands and legs and lift them in the air, lie on the stomach with hands near chest and lift upper body to the sky, lie on the stomach and hold ankles and lift in the air and rock the body. 10 iterations each except for the last three for which 3 iterations each.

Finally the shavasan…my favourite :)

N asked me about the dietician consultation today and I postponed it to tomorrow. I must take a decision tonight.

Today’s observations:

I didn’t feel as energetic as yesterday. I drank the usual amount of water, not more like yesterday.

Almost all the ladies coming to the gym check their weight daily. They are all very confident and move about comfortably using the equipment.

I feel most confident on the exercycle, treadmill and while doing the warm ups and the floor exercises.

My body didn’t ache as much as I expected it to this morning or even during the day. That makes me worried about tomorrow. It’s got to give sometime, I say !

Although I had decided while joining the gym that I would do the gym and swimming on alternate days, today I have decided that for two weeks I shall do the gym. Then I shall ask N to build in the swimming part into my workout. The pool is beckoning and it is also very safe since I am most comfortable swimming. But it would mean that again I’ll run away from learning the gym routine. I am happy that I am able to make myself stay and fight my fear.

Now, tomorrow’s target – to reach the gym at 6:00 a.m. with a decision about the dietician consultation.

Putting my money where my mouth is !

After a long break which consisted of sleep deprivation, eating wrong things at odd hours, travelling for shows of our play and overall lack of discipline, I am back. My efforts to work on my fitness were sporadic, at best. I was easy on myself and sugar-coated it by calling it “taking baby steps”.

Each day I fretted about my weight and lack of motivation to do something to reduce it. People cracked jokes about my weight and I laughed along with them because the jokes were really funny ! What was not funny though, was my complete lack of effort.

I contemplated going to a gym close to my home and making an enquiry. It took me two weeks to do that.

However, when I finally went there on Saturday, I felt very warm and comfortable there. In that moment something changed for me.

I spoke to the TH and returned the same evening and paid the membership fees for ONE WHOLE YEAR ! Those who know me know very well how cautious I am with my money. Considering my past track record with exercising, I wouldn’t have trusted myself ever to make such a long-term commitment for exercising and actually put down the money for it. But well, that’s exactly what I did.

Actually, I have never felt warm and comfortable in any gym I have been to before…and trust me, I’ve been to quite a few. Somehow, this gym just ‘felt right’. I guess that is what did me in ! :)

So, I have ‘put my money where my mouth is’, as the phrase goes. That will, hopefully, ensure that the goal is achieved.

The whole of yesterday, I kept thinking to myself, ‘When you wake up tomorrow morning, you’ll want to skip the gym and sleep a little longer. At that time, ask yourself this: “Losing weight and becoming fit” or “Staying fat and wasting money” – what do you choose ? Say to yourself, “I choose health”.

So, today was my first day at the gym. I went in and completed registration formalities. Then I was assigned to an energetic and smiling lady N who took my weight and measurements and I got suitably horrified in the process seeing the numbers. She is going to be my trainer too. I told her that I was a novice and she would have to guide me each step of the way. She was so pleasant and had a sense of humour too. I instantly warmed up to her.

She took me through my run of exercises. Warm ups, exer-cycle for 10 minutes, calf exercises, thigh exercises, treadmill for 10 minutes, abs, side leg raises, some floor exercises designed for the lower body and finally relaxation. Today it was all about the lower body.

Then she took me to the dietician who tried really hard to sell me the concept of getting a paid consultation for a couple of months. It is natural for her to do that since presently I appear like the perfect candidate in need of that. It’s just that I’m in two minds about it because it is a paid consultation. I’ve already spent a lot and now there’s some more. TH says I should take it for a month. It will help me reduce the initial weight quickly. That will motivate me to keep exercising sincerely. I’m still thinking on this one.

Here are a few random observations of the day:

As I left the gym today, I felt nice. I felt that I could come here every day without forcing myself to.

I drank 1.5 times more water than usual today.

Usually I go and have lunch at 1:00 p.m. whether or not I am hungry. Today I was feeling hungry for about half an hour before I went for lunch.

As night approaches, I am feeling slightly tired. My mind is telling me that tomorrow morning is going to be terrible because the effects of all the enthusiastic exercising will be felt when I wake up tomorrow morning. So I must be all the more alert and stop myself from succumbing to the desire to sleep ‘just for five more minutes’. :)

All day, there was a spring in my step. I was feeling very energetic all day. Whether I actually had more energy or it is just in my mind, I don’t know. But whatever it is, I was feeling great all day.

Here’s to having a ‘feel-good’ day every day !

11 Feb. 2011

To the lone follower of this blog:

Don’t worry, I’m still here. The journey is slow and painful and is going on in fits and starts. Of course there have been slip-ups a-plenty but I’m still sticking to my resolve – ‘this time I’m not going to let go without achieving my goals, no matter how much time it takes’. For me, not abandoning this mission is the most crucial thing and I am sticking to it with all my might.

I have been away for shows of my plays and after my return I have been neck deep in office work due to the impending move.

So, here’s a brief update of the MIA phase :)

For the days of the shows, on the food front, what I ate was OK but when I ate was not. Ditto after my return till date.

As for exercise, on most days i.e. show days, I did non-conventional exercise (climbing stairs repeatedly for some time and / or two to three short bursts of fast walking spread over the day), while on some (few) days, I walked for at least 30 minutes.

Today’s update:

Exercise update: None :(

Food update:

8:30 a.m.           1 cup tea + 3 slices toast butter

11:00 a.m.         1 cup tea

1:00 p.m.           2 chapatis + 1 bowl veggies + 1 bowl daal + 1 bowl rice + ½ bowl rabadi (dessert)

3:00 p.m.           1 cup tea

10:00 p.m.         2 chapatis + 1 bow veggies

Thankfully, the sadness that is creeping up on me due to that move is not making me eat more. But, it is definitely inducing tremendous lethargy. Sticking to daily food patterns and, more importantly, exercising every day is a humungous task right now. I’d much rather sleep all day :( But, I don’t. I simply grit my teeth, pull myself together and very reluctantly, I do what I have to do.

Thus ends another day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

1 Feb. 2011

Today was a copy-paste job from yesterday. I HAVE to break it before it crystallizes. Exercise duration HAS to increase.

Here's the update:

Exercise update:

15 minutes     Exer-cycle

Food update:

9:00 a.m.      1 cup tea + 3 slices toast-butter

11:00 a.m.     1 cup tea

1:00 p.m.      2 phulkas + 1 bowl cauliflower vegetable + 2 tbsp curds

3:30 p.m.      1 cup tea

8:45 p.m.      2 phulkas + 1 bowl cauliflower vegetable again + 1 tsp raw mango pickle

As it is, from the 3^rd to the 6^th of February, my food timings are going to be totally off since I am going to Mumbai for shows of my plays. Of course, what to eat and exercise will still be under my control and I'll ensure that at least that is well taken care of.

Sigh ! I so envy those who have a naturally lean physique :(

31 Jan. 2011

Today's the 7^th day since I started and I'm still not getting on track with the exercise and wake-up schedule.

The good part though is that I'm finding the food discipline quite OK to follow. Today in office, in the evening, somebody offered to get wada-paav* which is one my absolutely favourite foods…I could eat it morning, noon and night :) Knowing this, my colleagues asked me if I wanted to eat some. I promptly said 'No' and it didn't bother me too !

Here's the update:

Exercise update:

15 minutes     Exer-cycle

Food update:

9:00 a.m.      1 cup tea + 3 slices toast-butter

11:00 a.m.     1 cup tea

1:00 p.m.      2 phulkas + 1 bowl raw tomato vegetable + 2 tbsp curds

3:30 p.m.      1 cup tea

8:15 p.m.      2 phulkas + 1 bowl methi vegetable

Tomorrow's target will be to get up on time and exercise for at least 45 minutes. Let's see how that goes. Will keep you posted.

*Wada = a spicy boiled potato filling in a gram flour cover, obviously deep-fried 

Paav = bun.