Time and again I have begun exercise and diet control in all earnest and failed each time.
The latest attempt involved enrolling in a gym in June. Yet, till date I haven't stepped foot inside it even once ! I have paid hard earned money for it. They even called me twice in the last four months asking me when I planned to go. I gave them a date and never turned up. I didn't feel the slightest guilt or shame. I don't know why. The further I delayed going to the gym, the further my resistance increased, in fact. Now I feel I just can't face the instructors. I feel embarrassed. When I shared this feeling with somebody, they said, what't there to be embarrassed about ? Its your money and your health. Just go.
In the meantime, I had just let myself go. I sensed that my weight had slightly increased too. Controlling what I eat was never a problem - that comes easy. My struggle has always been getting up early and going to the gym - getting up early being the key words. Due to my schedule of work and theatre, early mornings were the only time I could spare for exercise and I just can't get up early.
Somehow for the last one month my fitness, my health, becoming slim have all been on the mind...and firmly stayed there. No action. Then last week suddenly it seemed that I was being given gentle nudges, soft signals far too many times by the Universe for me to ignore. One blogger whose blog I've been following for long has suddenly been gifted a gym+personal trainer by her husband and she has started writing about how she's doing at the gym. From the comments on one of her posts I landed on another blogger's account of her weight loss journey. I bookmarked it to read it on Sunday at home. Come Sunday, I was watching NDTV and came to know about their initiative on fit cities. The previous day, I had received a story in my email about how an 80-year old man decided to train for a marathon and eventually ran one. Then I read the bookmarked blog right from the day she began her blog, till date. The lady started at 100 kgs., is now at 77 kgs. and plans to reach 67 kgs. ! Suddenly I felt some kind of hard feeling, like resolve, taking over my mind.
I downloaded a pedometer app on my phone, loaded songs in the mp3 player and set out to walk. I walked fast for a while but later I had to walk a little slower due to some pain in my hip joints. I walked for about 2.75 kms. I guess the pain might have been due to walking on the uneven road. While walking I resolved that I would be dead serious about it this time. This is like do or die. I'm not stopping till I achieve the ideal weight. It also meant recording everything I ate and my daily exercise. When I returned home, I took out a beautiful handmade paper notebook TH (TheHusband) had gifted me long ago. I started by writing about my struggles so far and my new found resolve. Then I made an intent sheet. I wrote down my goals for October 2012.
Yesterday too I went to another park with a nice walking track and walked 4.10 kms. While walking yesterday I decided that I will walk on tracks in parks this week and next week onwards I will go to the gym. I will initially, till I become comfortable with the environment there, do a combination of cardio exercises for a minimum of 30 mins. Gradually I will go on increasing my gym time and work.
Also I will eat mindfully. I will avoid, maida (all purpose flour) based stuff, sweets, rice.
Thus I have restarted my journey to becoming fit and slim.
I am going to record my progress here as well as in my fitness journal. Eventually when I feel a little comfortable with myself, a little confident, I shall open this blog to readers. For now it will be my private online journal.
Today's weight: 71 kgs.
Target weight: 52 kgs.
TO LOSE: 19 kgs
So, my October goals are:
1) Exercise 6 days a week
2) Last meal of the day before 8:00 p.m.
3) In bed at 11:00 p.m.
I started recording yesterday. So here's the record for 8/OCT/2012:
Walked 4.10 kms.
Breakfast 9:30 a.m.: 1 bowl of upma + 1 cup tea
Lunch 3:00 p.m.: 6-inch tuna+green bell pepper+olives sub sandwich, 6 inch open pepperoni toastie
Tea 5:00 p.m.: 1 cup tea + 2 biscuits + 1 piece orange choc + 1 coffee choc
Dinner 9:00 p.m.: 1 guava
Slept at 11:30 p.m.
Today I am going to leave office early to be able to accommodate my walking time in the evening. I am not having to force myself mentally to do it. This is a refreshing change. Hope it is lasting. Fingers crossed.
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